Oh! Cool cover page! I love the idea of a mysterious old book that leads you on an adventure! I also like that your background is paper, though I think it would be nice to incorporate some of the red or brown somewhere else on the site. To me, it seems a little flat because the colors of the different elements of the page are too similar. Or maybe choose a font that looks more like handwriting? This way it will help bring attention to the fact that the background is actually paper while also making it more visually fun. Just some ideas. Your introduction was absolutely wonderful! I loved reading it! I like the idea of the book being left behind with a message written to the reader by Rama. Plus, you really bring depth to his character that I feel aligns perfectly with what we have read about him being strong and compassionate. It’s neat that you issue your readers a challenge to finish or continue reading the story. It really pulled me in. I enjoyed reading it and am excited to see what happens on this adventure. I’m also really looking forward to seeing your images that you will include in your future writings. It’s going to be neat to see the wondrous creatures of the Ramayana come to life in your writings.
Your photo choice could not have been better on your introduction page. It is simple yet it is intriguing, and I find that to be a great foundational starting point for your story. Also, the idea of an “unknown book” is really great too. Again, it is simple yet mysterious. You’ve left a great impression so far and I haven’t even starting reading yet. I can already tell that you’re a great writer. I loved your description of the book. Paired with the picture, your description arouses my senses and creates a very vivid picture in my head, along with a very vivid sense of mystery. WOW – fascinating idea to have the reader contribute his or her own story to the journal. I wish I would have thought of that! I really love that idea. You also really capture Rama’s character in my opinion. He has forgiven his mother and he doesn’t regret his time in exile – that’s the sense I got from Rama as well. Also the reward offered at the end by Rama is quite enticing. It won’t be money or fame or something that fades away. Rather, it will be the grace of the gods and a sense of accomplishment. Overall, a really, really great job!
Hey, Tia! I really like your storybook so far. The introduction drew me in and I was instantly hooked when I saw that it was an ancient and unknown book that I was about to read. I really like how it’s a diary style storybook written from Rama’s perspective, and I look forward to reading things from his point of view. Rama’s point of view is a very noble and king-like one, and I like the tone that you wrote in- it certainly adds a lot. Specifically, acknowledging Kaikeyi’s responsibility for his exile but not being angry at her demonstrates a lot about his character and adds a lot. Also, it is very cool that one of the last lines is to “rid the world of evil, or put this book down for the next wanderer.” It draws me in even more and helps build up the power of what Rama is about to record. The picture on the cover page helped give a picture of an old diary which I really appreciated! If anything, maybe you could add a picture on the story page as well, perhaps just of Rama. That’s the only thing that I could think of to modify. I think you’re off to a great start and I look forward to reading more of your work in the future.
Tia, thank you so much for your feedback! You left a really great comment on my week 2 storytelling post! You gave me honest feedback about what you really liked about my story and what you had wished that I added more of. It really helped me on my next story posts! So, thank you!
I loved your introduction! I was hooked immediately. The idea of finding a random book and seeing a letter fall out and then just knowing that it's meant to be and that you're meant to add onto the book next is such a cool concept. Props to thinking about this idea! I agree with Bria and think that maybe you should incorporate a little more red and maybe some black into the background, it would give your Storybook a more mysterious feel. I also liked how at the end of page, the next page was linked. I kind of felt like I was part of some adventurous game and that I just couldn't stop clicking the next button. Haha.
Your first post was awesome! I think the picture you posted was perfect for the entry, so monstrous and scary. I like that the entries were in a journal format and so personal. I also like how the adventurer has such a strong motive and is also an "unknown adventurer", makes it all the more mysterious. Your writing style is phenomenal! Great job, can't wait to read your next couple of entries.
Hi Tia! I just wanted to drop by your page and tell you thank you for your good feedback and comments! I really appreciated you taking time to read my storybook and letting me know what you thought of it! Due to your comment, I decided to try a different theme for background out, so hopefully you will agree that it is better suited for my storybook! I hope that you have enjoyed my stories so far! Your feedback is always welcome and appreciated!
Hey Tia, I just got finished reading through your storybook: Rama’s Bestiary: An Unkown Book. And I have to say that I can tell you have put some very serious thought into this project! There are a lot of subtle things you have done throughout your storybook that helps make it that much more enjoyable. First off, the introduction page is very well done. I feel like you really transported the reader with all the details. Making it feel like the reader has stumbled upon an old book with stories about the many beasts that flood the world. Also, the picture you used for the book was a good choice. I feel like that is exactly what the book would have looked like in my head. Also, I read your first story in your storybook and really liked it. I love the beast you chose for your story. You made it seem like a very scary first beast to talk about, and reading about the unknown adventurer’s close ones dying was a bit sad. The picture you chose to depict Kravydad looks like a journal entry drawing and was also a very nice touch. Can’t wait to read about the second beast you choose!
Tia, let me start by saying that I think your layout is unique and creative! I really love your cover page because it draws the reader in and has more to it than a simple image and title. The way you used this part of your storybook was creative and sets up the introduction nicely by having the reader read the letter that has fallen out of the book from your cover page. The introduction is similar to mine in how it includes a letter setting up the stories. I think having the letter come from Rama is perfect and the background you do include on him is enough to help the reader understand why he met so many mythical creatures that he wants the reader to write about. The first story on Kravyad is full of detail and I like how the reader can picture this gruesome creature. I was a little confused by the story speaker however, I mean I know it was whoever found Rama’s letter and was sent on this quest to write about the creatures but I think the time zone confuses me. Is it a person who found the letter in Rama’s times and is going to research these creatures? Or someone in our time? Is the man writing his own diary now? Or is he adding to the book he found as per Rama’s request? I think overall though this is a really great story that gives information about the creature. I like how it is not one we read from the book so I did not know what this creature would turn out to be like. Also, I wanted to be sure to let you know how awesome I think your ‘reference’ page is. It includes your author’s notes and references so they do not distract the reader when going through the storybook, good work!
I'm back! First of all, let me say that I LOVE your title. It grabbed me immediately, and I really dig the idea of a bestiary. Your cover page was cool, I like the picture. I've always thought old, leather journals were cool but never felt like I had anything to put in it that would live up to the coolness that is the outside. Anyway, I loved your cover page. It's really neat that you played on the theme of destiny. The reader finds this old book with a mysterious letter and yet knows deep down that the book was meant for them. It's so intriguing! I know I touched briefly on this in my other comment, but I just can't get over it!
Okay, so your story about Kravyad is really freaking cool! I love the picture! It reminds me of something Van Helsing would have in his journal/book about his travels and what he has seen. Plus, it just really works with the time of year that we're in; Halloween is just around the corner and your picture is a little spooky. Your writing is phenomenal. You have great voice and a wonderful command of tone. I really enjoyed reading your story, and like that it is from an unknown author... so mysterious!
Tia, I already like your storybook and I haven't even read it. The way your introduction page begins with such mystery is so intriguing. It was very creative of you to set up your introduction page the way you did. I would have never thought to link a page to the second page. Doing this adds a bit of intrigue to the story because you really have to want to know what is inside the letter in order to want to choose the link.
I really like the images you have chosen. It is definitley differnt than most others, including my own, because they are not images of the characters, but rather images to help you along in where you are being taken on the journey through reading these letters.
The way you have introduced Rama is terrific and spot-on. I think it is great how you outlined his entire personalitty in one paragraph. That is talent, my friend. I absolutely love where this is going so far if I am right. I am thinking that you are beginning to outline Rama as Darwin and if that is what is about to happen then I am going to lose it because that is such a genius idea. I wish I had thought of it!!!
Okay, so it turns out that I was kind of right. I like where you went with it though. Its Darwin meets Rama and I love the crap out of it. The image could not have been better. I am so impressed. What a creative mind you have!
Hi Tia! I’m writing my notes as I’m reading, so if they sound all over the place sorry. First, I love the pictures you’re using! They give an old mysterious adventure feel to your storybook. I also like the mini introduction on the cover page. You’ve made me very excited to read the rest of it! Ooh! Rama was unaware of Kaikeyi’s involvement with his exile? Interesting! I really like the tone you’re using. What do you mean by Rama wanting the reader to fill in stories about the creatures he encountered? How does that work? What is this Kravyad like? Could you describe him a bit earlier in the story? What is Agneyastra and why is it useful to fight Kravyad? “During the wars years back” seems awkward to me. Maybe add “that happened” or something between wars and years. “Their anguished screamed” also seems like it could have been said better. This Ryhaka reminds me of a succubus. What is a bhoot and why must they be destroyed? What is a boon of a Daitya and why is it significant? “Told me arm myself” sounds like it needs “to” put between me and arm. I really like your concept with this storybook, but it seems a little vague (you might be going for that, though; I’m not sure). These creatures and weapons are new to me and I feel like I would understand what’s going on better if you described them a little more. I’m excited to see what other creatures make appearances! This is very interesting!
On first visiting your storybook I noticed the layout. Your layout is unique compared to all the other storybooks I have seen so far, so kudos to you for making yours original. Even though I was unfamiliar with the layout, it was very easy to navigate. I thought the image you chose was great for giving the reader an idea of what to picture with regards to this unknown book.
I like to read the author's note before reading the story, and I had a little trouble finding yours the first time. I eventually found it under the 'references' section, and I suppose it doesn't need to be under the story. I thought you did a great job getting inside Rama's head as a character. In the epic we never really get to know what Rama is thinking, so I love seeing other people create his thoughts. I thought the build up to the fight with Krayad was great, but the actual fight itself to be a bit of a let down. However, this was often was happened in the epic. So it isn't absurd that you described the fight briefly and in a matter of fact manner.
Hey Tia, I just got finished reading through the latest additions to your storybook: Rama’s Bestiary: An Unkown Book and the story about the churail is creepy. I watch a lot of Hindi movies since I am of Indian descent and have heard this word used before and now i know the true background behind it. First off the picture you used is almost too perfect! A beautiful woman who is veiling her evil side. At first I thought you had sketched the picture because it fit so well. Also another reason why i like the picture is because it is a hand sketch and all this is supposed to be coming out of the old brown book we pick up and open from the introduction. The story was good, I felt like you could have had more details. I was confused at the part where you said "I cannot say what she saw or felt, but at the end of it she seemed peaceful." I'm not sure if you mean that the author doesn't want to comment on what happened or that it was that indescribable. Overall, great story and can't wait to read your next piece!
Hey, good morning, Tia! I absolutely loved Rama’s Bestiary. I really liked the layout and organization of the web-sight as well. It’s easily navigated and makes it simple for one to follow the adventures. I thought the idea of having the reader go through the Bestiary as a guide to avenge his wife and finish what Rama couldn’t was a great storyline. The pictures you added to each page were spot on and added a perfect image to grasp onto while visualizing each beast. While reading the various adventures, I couldn’t help but think of the TV show Supernatural. Hah so that’s probably another reason why I was so drawn onto the stories. My favorite beasty story would probably have to be the one about the Pishacha. The descriptive imagery you used was so intense I think I may have nightmares. I loved the part about how the Pishacha wore the entails of the adventurer’s friends, that was so gruesome. I also thought the story was a good one to start with because it really set the stage for how the adventure thinks and what he/she finds morally right. Keep up the good work. I look forward to reading more of your stories.
Wow, I really like your storybook. It is a very unique idea. I like how you set it up with the suspenseful and mysterious opening. The story with the narrator happening upon Rama's letter and then embarking on adventures is a very interesting way to create new stories from the Indian mythology. I also like that the topic of your storybook is the various mythological creatures. You tell stories about creatures we don't already know very much about, so it's new and interesting to read about. Very cool storybook!
Tia! This is the first time that I have looked at your storybook and I am loving the idea you chose to work with. The bestiary is such an interesting concept and reminds me of the one that is found in Harry Potter. I like that your character has a call to action when he receives the letter and book and is obligated to finish the book for Rama. I decided to just read your introduction and your first story so I could come back and look at your other stories at a later date. Your first story is great and provides a lot of dark and twisted details that really help to bring it to life. I like how well you managed to personify the create and the dilemmas that your hero was going through following the death of his friends. I am really looking forward to reading your other stories and seeing if the main character does in fact find the creature that killed his wife. Great job so far and keep up the good work.
Hey Tia! I decided to choose you as one of my free choices this week and I really enjoyed reading your latest story in Rama's Bestiary: An Unknown Book. First off I just want to talk about your storybook as a whole. This is probably one of my favorites that I have read out of the whole class. I love love love the idea that its an old book that you find and open to read. You did an amazing job of transporting the reader into the world you created. Also, if you were going for a scary factor in your storybook you definitely achieved it. I feel like you really captured the intense evil and demonic essences of the monsters. And you did this in a great style by making up stories of direct encounters with each of the beasts. Although most of these stories were told by "an unknown adventurer" you did a good job of give them a personality by explicating their inner struggles and problems they were dealing with. For example, in the story about the Vetala Cult, the man is dealing with the death of his wife and that ultimately leads to his demise. You did a great job of telling each of your stories and all the details really made a clear and scary picture in my head. All the images you used looked like sketches which added to the 'old worn book' theme that you were going for. Overall, amazing storybook! Great work!
Hello Tia, this is my first time to see your storybook and I think you have done a great job. I love anything that has to do with the supernatural so this fit right in with something that interest me. The idea of creating a beastiary is a creative way to introduce your readers to Rama and the story of the Ramayana. Your cover page is great. An old leather book with nothing on it and the script at the bottom of the page really set your reader up for the first story. The introduction or the Letter from Rama did a great job of giving the reader a brief background on the character, but is also created an adventure for the reader. You did a great job of staying with the theme of a Beastiary because in most movies, books, and t.v. shows the Beastiary is always incomplete, so your story book automatically makes the reader begin to imagine what other types of creatures could have been in the Ramayana that they don't know about. The pictures you chose were fantastic. I am not sure where you got them but they are the exact picture I would expect to see in a book of this nature. Overall I think you done a great job on your storybook.
I am from the Mythology class so I decided to pick your story for a free choice this week! I think that you did a really good job with your cover page! I feel that you chose a great background color and also a nice font color. I like that you put the links to the preceding stories horizontally on top of the page, I think it is a little bit more visually appealing that vertically along the page! I also feel that you did a really great job with picking the picture you used. It goes along with the title and is also in the center of the page so it does not distract the eye with being on the side. Great job! I really liked your introduction page; I think it is great that you were able to be so descriptive! I also really like that you included the reader by telling them that this is to also call them to be inspired. In your story ‘Kravyad the Pishacha’ I think you did a great job of really setting the scene. I think it is interesting that he is gathering his two friends from back in the war and they are al going to go face the monster together. Overall great job!
Hey Tia! That was a really great storybook and I really enjoyed it. The theme was one of the things that I really enjoyed. It was quite unique and once I saw it, it got me really wanting to read more about your stories. The introduction was really great. It brought the reader a lot of information about what they hope to find in your storybook. The introduction was really greatly written and had a really great unique theme. It was the first time I saw a letter themed introduction. It was also really greatly written letter, which got the readers really interested. The stories are also really greatly written. It has very little to no mistakes that make sure that the stories flow greatly. This makes sure to keep the stories interesting for the reader. These stories are quite unique from the ones that are from the epic Ramayana. There are only a couple of things that I might would have changed. One being that I would include a short sections that is the Author’s note. So the reader gets a short section about the author’s methods and thoughts. Lastly, I would change the headings of some the tabs. It might confuse readers, which one is the introduction and which ones are the stories. IT was great to read your storybook and can’t wait to see the final product.
Tia, thank you for taking the time to read my storybook with The Doctor in it. I am glad you enjoyed some of it. Also, I am glad you pointed out how confusing the introduction was because I had not read it since I wrote it. I tried to make it a lot better. Thanks!
Oh! Cool cover page! I love the idea of a mysterious old book that leads you on an adventure! I also like that your background is paper, though I think it would be nice to incorporate some of the red or brown somewhere else on the site. To me, it seems a little flat because the colors of the different elements of the page are too similar. Or maybe choose a font that looks more like handwriting? This way it will help bring attention to the fact that the background is actually paper while also making it more visually fun. Just some ideas.
ReplyDeleteYour introduction was absolutely wonderful! I loved reading it! I like the idea of the book being left behind with a message written to the reader by Rama. Plus, you really bring depth to his character that I feel aligns perfectly with what we have read about him being strong and compassionate. It’s neat that you issue your readers a challenge to finish or continue reading the story. It really pulled me in. I enjoyed reading it and am excited to see what happens on this adventure. I’m also really looking forward to seeing your images that you will include in your future writings. It’s going to be neat to see the wondrous creatures of the Ramayana come to life in your writings.
Tia,
ReplyDeleteYour photo choice could not have been better on your introduction page. It is simple yet it is intriguing, and I find that to be a great foundational starting point for your story. Also, the idea of an “unknown book” is really great too. Again, it is simple yet mysterious. You’ve left a great impression so far and I haven’t even starting reading yet.
I can already tell that you’re a great writer. I loved your description of the book. Paired with the picture, your description arouses my senses and creates a very vivid picture in my head, along with a very vivid sense of mystery.
WOW – fascinating idea to have the reader contribute his or her own story to the journal. I wish I would have thought of that! I really love that idea. You also really capture Rama’s character in my opinion. He has forgiven his mother and he doesn’t regret his time in exile – that’s the sense I got from Rama as well. Also the reward offered at the end by Rama is quite enticing. It won’t be money or fame or something that fades away. Rather, it will be the grace of the gods and a sense of accomplishment. Overall, a really, really great job!
Hey, Tia! I really like your storybook so far. The introduction drew me in and I was instantly hooked when I saw that it was an ancient and unknown book that I was about to read. I really like how it’s a diary style storybook written from Rama’s perspective, and I look forward to reading things from his point of view. Rama’s point of view is a very noble and king-like one, and I like the tone that you wrote in- it certainly adds a lot. Specifically, acknowledging Kaikeyi’s responsibility for his exile but not being angry at her demonstrates a lot about his character and adds a lot. Also, it is very cool that one of the last lines is to “rid the world of evil, or put this book down for the next wanderer.” It draws me in even more and helps build up the power of what Rama is about to record. The picture on the cover page helped give a picture of an old diary which I really appreciated! If anything, maybe you could add a picture on the story page as well, perhaps just of Rama. That’s the only thing that I could think of to modify. I think you’re off to a great start and I look forward to reading more of your work in the future.
ReplyDeleteTia, thank you so much for your feedback! You left a really great comment on my week 2 storytelling post! You gave me honest feedback about what you really liked about my story and what you had wished that I added more of. It really helped me on my next story posts! So, thank you!
ReplyDeleteTia,
ReplyDeleteI loved your introduction! I was hooked immediately. The idea of finding a random book and seeing a letter fall out and then just knowing that it's meant to be and that you're meant to add onto the book next is such a cool concept. Props to thinking about this idea! I agree with Bria and think that maybe you should incorporate a little more red and maybe some black into the background, it would give your Storybook a more mysterious feel. I also liked how at the end of page, the next page was linked. I kind of felt like I was part of some adventurous game and that I just couldn't stop clicking the next button. Haha.
Your first post was awesome! I think the picture you posted was perfect for the entry, so monstrous and scary. I like that the entries were in a journal format and so personal. I also like how the adventurer has such a strong motive and is also an "unknown adventurer", makes it all the more mysterious. Your writing style is phenomenal! Great job, can't wait to read your next couple of entries.
Hi Tia! I just wanted to drop by your page and tell you thank you for your good feedback and comments! I really appreciated you taking time to read my storybook and letting me know what you thought of it! Due to your comment, I decided to try a different theme for background out, so hopefully you will agree that it is better suited for my storybook! I hope that you have enjoyed my stories so far! Your feedback is always welcome and appreciated!
ReplyDeleteHey Tia, I just got finished reading through your storybook: Rama’s Bestiary: An Unkown Book. And I have to say that I can tell you have put some very serious thought into this project! There are a lot of subtle things you have done throughout your storybook that helps make it that much more enjoyable. First off, the introduction page is very well done. I feel like you really transported the reader with all the details. Making it feel like the reader has stumbled upon an old book with stories about the many beasts that flood the world. Also, the picture you used for the book was a good choice. I feel like that is exactly what the book would have looked like in my head. Also, I read your first story in your storybook and really liked it. I love the beast you chose for your story. You made it seem like a very scary first beast to talk about, and reading about the unknown adventurer’s close ones dying was a bit sad. The picture you chose to depict Kravydad looks like a journal entry drawing and was also a very nice touch. Can’t wait to read about the second beast you choose!
ReplyDeleteTia, let me start by saying that I think your layout is unique and creative! I really love your cover page because it draws the reader in and has more to it than a simple image and title. The way you used this part of your storybook was creative and sets up the introduction nicely by having the reader read the letter that has fallen out of the book from your cover page. The introduction is similar to mine in how it includes a letter setting up the stories. I think having the letter come from Rama is perfect and the background you do include on him is enough to help the reader understand why he met so many mythical creatures that he wants the reader to write about. The first story on Kravyad is full of detail and I like how the reader can picture this gruesome creature. I was a little confused by the story speaker however, I mean I know it was whoever found Rama’s letter and was sent on this quest to write about the creatures but I think the time zone confuses me. Is it a person who found the letter in Rama’s times and is going to research these creatures? Or someone in our time? Is the man writing his own diary now? Or is he adding to the book he found as per Rama’s request? I think overall though this is a really great story that gives information about the creature. I like how it is not one we read from the book so I did not know what this creature would turn out to be like. Also, I wanted to be sure to let you know how awesome I think your ‘reference’ page is. It includes your author’s notes and references so they do not distract the reader when going through the storybook, good work!
ReplyDeleteI'm back!
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, let me say that I LOVE your title. It grabbed me immediately, and I really dig the idea of a bestiary. Your cover page was cool, I like the picture. I've always thought old, leather journals were cool but never felt like I had anything to put in it that would live up to the coolness that is the outside. Anyway, I loved your cover page. It's really neat that you played on the theme of destiny. The reader finds this old book with a mysterious letter and yet knows deep down that the book was meant for them. It's so intriguing! I know I touched briefly on this in my other comment, but I just can't get over it!
Okay, so your story about Kravyad is really freaking cool! I love the picture! It reminds me of something Van Helsing would have in his journal/book about his travels and what he has seen. Plus, it just really works with the time of year that we're in; Halloween is just around the corner and your picture is a little spooky. Your writing is phenomenal. You have great voice and a wonderful command of tone. I really enjoyed reading your story, and like that it is from an unknown author... so mysterious!
Excellent job!!
Tia, I already like your storybook and I haven't even read it. The way your introduction page begins with such mystery is so intriguing. It was very creative of you to set up your introduction page the way you did. I would have never thought to link a page to the second page. Doing this adds a bit of intrigue to the story because you really have to want to know what is inside the letter in order to want to choose the link.
ReplyDeleteI really like the images you have chosen. It is definitley differnt than most others, including my own, because they are not images of the characters, but rather images to help you along in where you are being taken on the journey through reading these letters.
The way you have introduced Rama is terrific and spot-on. I think it is great how you outlined his entire personalitty in one paragraph. That is talent, my friend. I absolutely love where this is going so far if I am right. I am thinking that you are beginning to outline Rama as Darwin and if that is what is about to happen then I am going to lose it because that is such a genius idea. I wish I had thought of it!!!
Okay, so it turns out that I was kind of right. I like where you went with it though. Its Darwin meets Rama and I love the crap out of it. The image could not have been better. I am so impressed. What a creative mind you have!
Hi Tia! I’m writing my notes as I’m reading, so if they sound all over the place sorry. First, I love the pictures you’re using! They give an old mysterious adventure feel to your storybook. I also like the mini introduction on the cover page. You’ve made me very excited to read the rest of it! Ooh! Rama was unaware of Kaikeyi’s involvement with his exile? Interesting! I really like the tone you’re using. What do you mean by Rama wanting the reader to fill in stories about the creatures he encountered? How does that work? What is this Kravyad like? Could you describe him a bit earlier in the story? What is Agneyastra and why is it useful to fight Kravyad? “During the wars years back” seems awkward to me. Maybe add “that happened” or something between wars and years. “Their anguished screamed” also seems like it could have been said better. This Ryhaka reminds me of a succubus. What is a bhoot and why must they be destroyed? What is a boon of a Daitya and why is it significant? “Told me arm myself” sounds like it needs “to” put between me and arm. I really like your concept with this storybook, but it seems a little vague (you might be going for that, though; I’m not sure). These creatures and weapons are new to me and I feel like I would understand what’s going on better if you described them a little more. I’m excited to see what other creatures make appearances! This is very interesting!
ReplyDeleteOn first visiting your storybook I noticed the layout. Your layout is unique compared to all the other storybooks I have seen so far, so kudos to you for making yours original. Even though I was unfamiliar with the layout, it was very easy to navigate. I thought the image you chose was great for giving the reader an idea of what to picture with regards to this unknown book.
ReplyDeleteI like to read the author's note before reading the story, and I had a little trouble finding yours the first time. I eventually found it under the 'references' section, and I suppose it doesn't need to be under the story. I thought you did a great job getting inside Rama's head as a character. In the epic we never really get to know what Rama is thinking, so I love seeing other people create his thoughts. I thought the build up to the fight with Krayad was great, but the actual fight itself to be a bit of a let down. However, this was often was happened in the epic. So it isn't absurd that you described the fight briefly and in a matter of fact manner.
Hey Tia, I just got finished reading through the latest additions to your storybook: Rama’s Bestiary: An Unkown Book and the story about the churail is creepy. I watch a lot of Hindi movies since I am of Indian descent and have heard this word used before and now i know the true background behind it. First off the picture you used is almost too perfect! A beautiful woman who is veiling her evil side. At first I thought you had sketched the picture because it fit so well. Also another reason why i like the picture is because it is a hand sketch and all this is supposed to be coming out of the old brown book we pick up and open from the introduction. The story was good, I felt like you could have had more details. I was confused at the part where you said "I cannot say what she saw or felt, but at the end of it she seemed peaceful." I'm not sure if you mean that the author doesn't want to comment on what happened or that it was that indescribable. Overall, great story and can't wait to read your next piece!
ReplyDeleteHey, good morning, Tia! I absolutely loved Rama’s Bestiary. I really liked the layout and organization of the web-sight as well. It’s easily navigated and makes it simple for one to follow the adventures. I thought the idea of having the reader go through the Bestiary as a guide to avenge his wife and finish what Rama couldn’t was a great storyline. The pictures you added to each page were spot on and added a perfect image to grasp onto while visualizing each beast. While reading the various adventures, I couldn’t help but think of the TV show Supernatural. Hah so that’s probably another reason why I was so drawn onto the stories. My favorite beasty story would probably have to be the one about the Pishacha. The descriptive imagery you used was so intense I think I may have nightmares. I loved the part about how the Pishacha wore the entails of the adventurer’s friends, that was so gruesome. I also thought the story was a good one to start with because it really set the stage for how the adventure thinks and what he/she finds morally right. Keep up the good work. I look forward to reading more of your stories.
ReplyDeleteWow, I really like your storybook. It is a very unique idea. I like how you set it up with the suspenseful and mysterious opening. The story with the narrator happening upon Rama's letter and then embarking on adventures is a very interesting way to create new stories from the Indian mythology. I also like that the topic of your storybook is the various mythological creatures. You tell stories about creatures we don't already know very much about, so it's new and interesting to read about. Very cool storybook!
ReplyDeleteTia! This is the first time that I have looked at your storybook and I am loving the idea you chose to work with. The bestiary is such an interesting concept and reminds me of the one that is found in Harry Potter. I like that your character has a call to action when he receives the letter and book and is obligated to finish the book for Rama. I decided to just read your introduction and your first story so I could come back and look at your other stories at a later date. Your first story is great and provides a lot of dark and twisted details that really help to bring it to life. I like how well you managed to personify the create and the dilemmas that your hero was going through following the death of his friends. I am really looking forward to reading your other stories and seeing if the main character does in fact find the creature that killed his wife. Great job so far and keep up the good work.
ReplyDeleteHey Tia! I decided to choose you as one of my free choices this week and I really enjoyed reading your latest story in Rama's Bestiary: An Unknown Book. First off I just want to talk about your storybook as a whole. This is probably one of my favorites that I have read out of the whole class. I love love love the idea that its an old book that you find and open to read. You did an amazing job of transporting the reader into the world you created. Also, if you were going for a scary factor in your storybook you definitely achieved it. I feel like you really captured the intense evil and demonic essences of the monsters. And you did this in a great style by making up stories of direct encounters with each of the beasts. Although most of these stories were told by "an unknown adventurer" you did a good job of give them a personality by explicating their inner struggles and problems they were dealing with. For example, in the story about the Vetala Cult, the man is dealing with the death of his wife and that ultimately leads to his demise. You did a great job of telling each of your stories and all the details really made a clear and scary picture in my head. All the images you used looked like sketches which added to the 'old worn book' theme that you were going for. Overall, amazing storybook! Great work!
ReplyDeleteHello Tia, this is my first time to see your storybook and I think you have done a great job. I love anything that has to do with the supernatural so this fit right in with something that interest me. The idea of creating a beastiary is a creative way to introduce your readers to Rama and the story of the Ramayana. Your cover page is great. An old leather book with nothing on it and the script at the bottom of the page really set your reader up for the first story. The introduction or the Letter from Rama did a great job of giving the reader a brief background on the character, but is also created an adventure for the reader. You did a great job of staying with the theme of a Beastiary because in most movies, books, and t.v. shows the Beastiary is always incomplete, so your story book automatically makes the reader begin to imagine what other types of creatures could have been in the Ramayana that they don't know about. The pictures you chose were fantastic. I am not sure where you got them but they are the exact picture I would expect to see in a book of this nature. Overall I think you done a great job on your storybook.
ReplyDeleteI am from the Mythology class so I decided to pick your story for a free choice this week! I think that you did a really good job with your cover page! I feel that you chose a great background color and also a nice font color. I like that you put the links to the preceding stories horizontally on top of the page, I think it is a little bit more visually appealing that vertically along the page! I also feel that you did a really great job with picking the picture you used. It goes along with the title and is also in the center of the page so it does not distract the eye with being on the side. Great job!
ReplyDeleteI really liked your introduction page; I think it is great that you were able to be so descriptive! I also really like that you included the reader by telling them that this is to also call them to be inspired. In your story ‘Kravyad the Pishacha’ I think you did a great job of really setting the scene. I think it is interesting that he is gathering his two friends from back in the war and they are al going to go face the monster together. Overall great job!
Hey Tia! That was a really great storybook and I really enjoyed it. The theme was one of the things that I really enjoyed. It was quite unique and once I saw it, it got me really wanting to read more about your stories. The introduction was really great. It brought the reader a lot of information about what they hope to find in your storybook. The introduction was really greatly written and had a really great unique theme. It was the first time I saw a letter themed introduction. It was also really greatly written letter, which got the readers really interested. The stories are also really greatly written. It has very little to no mistakes that make sure that the stories flow greatly. This makes sure to keep the stories interesting for the reader. These stories are quite unique from the ones that are from the epic Ramayana. There are only a couple of things that I might would have changed. One being that I would include a short sections that is the Author’s note. So the reader gets a short section about the author’s methods and thoughts. Lastly, I would change the headings of some the tabs. It might confuse readers, which one is the introduction and which ones are the stories. IT was great to read your storybook and can’t wait to see the final product.
ReplyDeleteTia, thank you so much for your comments on my Princess Constellations storybook.
ReplyDeleteI really should have named the stars, huh? That would've given them such a personal feeling in the introduction and kept it less confusing.
I never noticed my navigation!
Thank you for the tips, it would've helped me tons! I hope your semester was wonderful.
Tia, thank you for taking the time to read my storybook with The Doctor in it. I am glad you enjoyed some of it. Also, I am glad you pointed out how confusing the introduction was because I had not read it since I wrote it. I tried to make it a lot better. Thanks!
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